Pictures will soon surface explaining my long absence from the world of freestyle
wokking (and hopefully the pictures we staged and not the other ones...) not that I
need to explain myself to you people. But since you are the devoted and loyal
masses, I will continue to try to educate you.
Over the past few weeks I have been conducting the nutrition and health exams
required by the World Wide Association Of Free Walkers (which has not yet been
formed, but is already being contested in six nations as a direct threat to the state of
disorganization needed to properly incubate this sport). Since I have yet to be stopped
by any figure of authority, I will share some findings with you before continuing to
digress.
The low levels of nutritional aptitude maintained as a whole by the walking world is
abhorrent. I was originally amused by your smug and snappy comebacks to my patient
tutelage, attempting to share with you both a wider culinary world and a healthier
avenue from which to walk. My world has been shattered. I no longer can convince
myself that you are willing to attempt to care for the athletic machines that are your
bodies.
Case in point: side dishes.
Do you know how simple it is to create a well balanced meal? This is the same as that
latest move you pulled. One cannot pull their heels off the ground, spin 212 degrees
and then figure it was close enough to pulling a reverse whirly-gig and quit. Just the
same, you cannot leave a slice of meatloaf sitting alone on a plate.
Ease up off the couch, do some stretches. Put a chicken on the barbie to roast (use
indirect heat and throw some soaked applewood chips on the coals, of course)
Collect your ingredients:
1 1/2 pounds russet potatoes (about 3 medium), unpeeled, scrubbed
1/2 cup thinly sliced green onions
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 teaspoons minced peeled fresh ginger
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 large egg
4 teaspoons plus 1 tablespoon oriental sesame oil
3 tablespoons sesame seeds
1 tablespoon canola oil
Baste the chicken with your choice of sauce (any mass market american beer mixed
with butter and garlic will work)
Now start on your potatos:
Cook potatoes in large saucepan of boiling salted water until tender when pierced with
knife, about 40 minutes. Drain. Cool slightly. Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into large
chunks and place in medium bowl. Add 1/2 cup green onions, 1/4 cup cilantro, 2 garlic
cloves, 2 teaspoons ginger, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper; mash
potatoes until well blended. Mix in egg. Form potato mixture into eight 2
3/4-inch-diameter patties, each about 3/4 inch thick. Place potato cakes on platter.
Drizzle 1/2 teaspoon oriental sesame oil over both sides of each potato cake. Sprinkle
both sides of potato cakes with sesame seeds. Heat canola oil and remaining 1
tablespoon sesame oil in large wok over medium-high heat. Wokking in 2 batches,
add potato cakes to wok and cook until golden brown, about 3 minutes per side.
Divide potato cakes among 4 plates. Sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons cilantro.
Now get your roasted bird off the grill and throw together a nice salad while waiting for
the bird to rest before carving.
Beautiful. You are prepared to fuel your walking machine in a way as beautiful as your
moves, not like some careless slouching pedestrian who would choose to reheat some
KFC and pander to the gods of the boxed culture we are trying to walk (WOK!) free of.
Now I have to get back to detox before they find me...
End rant-
delicious chicken and mashed potatoes. Just drive to your local Popeyes, KFC, or
Church's and let people who actually know what they are doing make you some
greasy chicken. Heck yes! I mean, is chef Mike even a "real" chef? If you want to
know what I think, which you do, I would say he is nothing more than a poser. He
probably just went to one of those "dot coms" to find his recipes.
If you are feeling really energetic, here is a recipe for chicken and mashed potatoes
from somebody who knows what the people want. Me, The Craig.
Chicken:
Buy a bag of frozen chicken breasts. Open bag, throw one on a pan. Since you
forgot to de-thaw that piece of meat, as you should forget because you are not a
"chef", you are going to need to leave it there until the first side sticks to the pan since
you also forgot to spray some Pam on the pan. Flip it over after about, eh lets give it
20 minutes, and sprinkle some seasonings of choice on the side burnt side. Just let
that sit there while you move to the potatoes.
Potatoes:
Open box of instant potatoes. Add whatever the directions say, then double the
butter. And I like pepper, add some of that too. Stir it all together sampling many
times. Then........oh god the chicken is burning oh @$#$#@#$$$$@$%@.
Back to chicken:
Put out fire. Remove charred chicken from pan and cut into small pieces. Throw all
of that into potatoes. Stir. Add lots of seasoning to cover up burn flavor.
Wok this,
Craig "Blindspot" Mycoskie