blinds the minds and culinary aptitude of one nations worth of freestyle walkers. Walkers of the USA,
wake up. I do not want to see you sucked into the mass culinary apocalypse of your fellow 85 million
compatriots this coming Sunday. Statistically you are teetering on the edge of a gastric dungeon of
doom, the edge slick with trans fats and your mind fogged by MSG.
For the serious walker, the Super Bowl should be scoffed at as proof of the lengths less developed
sports must pursue to captivate the minds of both players and fans. Comparatively speaking, freestyle
walking should not even be compared to the "football" of the United States. This "sport" that continually
reduces its purity to the point that players must be paid millions of dollars before they are willing to be
seen participating. Meanwhile, walkers shrug off the many lucrative gear deals to maintain their childlike
joy and innocence as they perform free form: with no pads or cumbersome safety equipment to
diminish the aesthetic pinnacle that is freestyle walking.
Beyond this, allow us to evaluate the average smorgasbord of intestinal hate offered at the parties of
idol worship that will be proffered around the country on Sunday night. Likely participants will include
pizza delivered by a chain, served lukewarm to congealed and cold, depending on the quality of
pre-planning of the party in question. Potato chips. For the few discerning palettes, kettle chips with
natural ingredients. For those consigned to the pot luck parties, whatever crushed bags of chips were
left when your underpaid and uninformed friends walked into whatever store is on the right side of the
road coming to the party. And then there is the cheap pitiful excuse for beer that will likely be served,
which is in itself worthy of an entire column that would likely lead to further legal battles against the
mindless collective lobbying forces that sustain the watered down pig swill that is bottled and sold as
beer by the mainstream breweries in this country.
So fire up your woks and get into the kitchen where your footwork can prove that the great American
tradition is contained within your moves and not encapsulated in the mass market mind washing shame
being produced by the NFL.
Queso Fresco
1 1/2 lbs Queso Fresco (try braving a local Latino grocery, and while there find out what football
really is)
1 (4 ounce) can green chilis, do not drain
3 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 cup diced white onions
1/3 cup milk
3/4 cup diced ripe tomatoes
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1. Heat milk in wok until a skin forms.
2. Grate cheese and add to hot milk
3. Add chilies with liquid.
4. Add garlic, onion and cumin.
5. Add tomatoes.
Fresh chips
Corn tortillas
flour tortillas
oil for frying
1. Heat oil in wok until 360 degrees
2. Cut tortillas into wedges and fry in batches until golden and crisp.
Enjoy your release from the prison world engendered in mainstream culture and gorge on the sweet
freedom of fresh queso.
-Viva Libertad!
Craig
"Blindspot"
Mycoskie
word for chip dip. I think. Anyway Mike, you claim you
are a "freestyle" walker, but where is the freedom. If you
want to make a true freestyle dip, do as I say.
1) Look in your refrigerator and grab anything that is
close to expiring, or has just recently expired. Don't
worry about the off-flavors from it being old, it will all be
covered up with a hot sauce of choice. My ingredients
for this dip include amaretto, Tapitio, hummus, pesto,
honey, peach salsa, and creamy peppercorn dressing.
2) Before you add any of your ingredients, chop up
some garlic and add it to a pan of hot olive oil. This will
further cancel out some of the flavors from the expired
food.
3) All all of your ingredients to the pan, about a
teaspoon of each...I guess.
4) Watch it all congeal in the pan until it makes a mass
of something unidentifiable.
5) All all of this to 3 teaspoons of sour cream. Stir and
enjoy on cracker or chip of choice.
Now, while this was bareable to eat, it did burn a little
on the way down. No worries, this justs makes you
stronger and more prepared for you next SICK moves.
Wok That,
Craig "Blindspot" Mycoskie
