My contacts deep within the world of walking report that I have been far off base in my evaluations
of the culinary needs of the athletic machines that are the walkers reading this column. How could
I have led so many astray for so long, focusing on fresh, unadulterated meats and vegetables,
when specific research shows that the serious walker is tuned by a much different combination of
nutrients.
My change of heart has nothing to do with a governing body's investigation into my use of funds
for purposes reported to be unrelated to Freestylewalking. This is specifically pointed out in my
plea bargain and reiterated in all the supporting documents which outline what I can and can't
write in order to not be jailed or seeking asylum in yet another lush tropical country.
So brave walkers, untie in this new millennium and prepare to walk fueled by a cornucopia of
culinary masterpieces designed to feed the creativity and heart of sick hops:
Deep fried gravity:
2 cups flour, sifted
3 egg whites
1 teaspoon ginger
12 ounces Mountain Dew
1 tablespoon sugar
pinch salt
Pre-Heat your wok of shortening to 360 degrees,
Combine flour, cinnamon, sugar and salt. In another bowl, combine unbeaten egg whites and
Mountain Dew. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients to create a batter.
Pour batter into a squeeze bottle with a small tip. Then squeeze small streams of batter into
heated oil to deep fry. Remove when slightly browned and firm, and rest on paper towel. Plate
and garnish with confectioner's sugar and lemon zest.
Extreme Adjustment, for those who need to land a 720 Craigy Special while blindfolded, or if you
just feel too constrained by gravity, try the following.
Substitute Jolt Cola for Mtn Dew and add 1 teaspoon of cinnamon. Serve drizzled with a reduction
made from the remaining Jolt.
Loyal fans, my deepest apologies for misleading you for so many culinary mis-journeys. Please
allow me to continue to push you in great and gourmet directions while still feeding the fiery
machines that are your move makers.
