Mycoskie
Age: 23
Location: Miramar, California
Favorite Move: 360 Buggin' Out
Craig.
Craig: The name is Ice, get it right.
ORG: Sure…Ice. It’s been awhile since we have had
the pleasure of interviewing you.
Iceman: Well, I’ve been really busy being on the
International Freestyle Walking circuit. But I’m able
to make some time for the ORG because I’ve had to
take some time off. I was competing too much which
has given me some back problems.
ORG: Oh, did you have a bad landing or something?
Iceman: Oh no, I’ve just been racking up all the gold
medals. When Iceman wears them all it weights him
down.
ORG: You know, you can leave those medals
somewhere. I’m sure you have a trophy case in your
home.
Iceman: Trophy cases imply modesty. I want people
to know I’m the best. Mostly for the intimidation
factor. Plus, ”The plaque for the alternates is down
in the ladies room.”
ORG: Um…why did you just give those quotation
marks with your hands? And you just stole that line
from the real Iceman. You know, from Top Gun.
Iceman: Nope, that guy stole everything from me.
He is a fraud.
ORG: That movie is over 20 years old, I believe you
are 23.
Iceman: My point exactly.
ORG: Whatever. By the way what are these other
cameras doing here.
Iceman: Oh, this is my film crew. A&E is doing a
documentary on my career.
Cameraman: Wait, you hired us.
Iceman: You’re fired.
Cameraman: (Drops Camera) Whatever “Ice.”
(Speaks in a mocking way.)
ORG: Let’s finish this. Any final thoughts for the
freestyle walking community?
Iceman: I just want my fans to know that I care my
myself and myself only. If they want an autograph
they need to go through my agent. Plus, I don’t sign
my own autographs. I hired a guy to do that for me.
My time is too valuable to waste on the riff-raff. I
have important things to do like spiking up my hair
and pulling sick moves that can only be duplicated
by myself. (Bites Teeth)
